LONG HELLOS SHORT GOODBYES

 

Can I get you a drink? Was the traffic bad?
Have a seat and tell me about the year you've had

Did you do that thing? How's it coming along?
The place looks good – when did you get the kitchen done?

 

I could take you to the water's edge

Or would you rather stay at home instead?
I'm not listening to a word you've said

I'm just sitting, keeping company

With thoughts in my head

 

It's been too long, it's been too long

It's been too long, it's been too long

So long

Did I make enough food? I hope it tastes okay

Meat and veg and garlic bread and a lemon soufflé

Did you see that new film? It was only okay

Where d'you think you might go on your next holiday?

We took a walk along the water's edge

A road that only lead us home instead
I haven't listened to a word you said

I've been too busy keeping company

With the thoughts in my head

 

CHORUS

 

The sun's going down Is there more to say?

Look how late it's getting, guess we better be on our way

 

CHORUS

CEREAL BAR

Every time I walked by that place it caught my eye

How it took me so long to try, I don't know why

Took a look inside and t'was like a wonderland

A place of joy for a man and his inner child

 

It's like a secret you wished everybody knew

Yet also wished it was just for you

 

Any time of day is a good time to drop on by

So grab a seat, grab a bowl of Corn Flakes or Cheerios

They've got games that you can play

You can sit, snack, play all day

 

All the games are retro, but the classics don't grow old

And you can bring your own ones from home, or so I'm told

Nostalgic goodness displayed on every shelf

Sweetness so good for the soul, less so for your health

 

There are so many kinds that I've never tried

I'd try them all if I had the time

 

CHORUS

 

Every time I walk 'round that spot in Kingston town

And the bar's nowhere to be found, it brings me down

 

BRIDGE 1

CHORUS

 

So drop on by

Have some Rice Krispies or Corn Flakes or Cheerios

They've got games that you can play

You can sit, snack, play all day

 

THE GREAT CON OF 2015

 

Here I am, in the centre ring

Watching all of the freaks and geeks do their thing

And I'm one of them, like I've always been

Truly, such Marvel-lous sights I have seen

 

Everyone's in a gaming mood, strangely

Nobody has a bad attitude

Not the dark lords, nor the princesses

What, this? Yes, it's cardboard! Who cares if it is?

 

They've got all the crazy tattoos

Robots, lazy kitty cats too

How I wish it could be like this every day of my life

 

But that's not how it works, no

That's not how it's done

Because play is so much more fun

They look down on those who partake

It's a con, a mistake

 

Jokers filling up the hall

They're all waiting with the girls they adore

For the writers – and wait, that's not all

Someone who is both, and much more

 

Wristbands are the required to see

All the big fans, now inspiring me

It's a sign, I have seen the light

This is what I should be

 

CHORUS

 

Marvel, DC
Disney, Ghibli
Pixar, Dreamworks
PS4, X-Box
Nintendo, Sega

Star Wars, Star Trek

Kirk, Picard
Tennant, Smith

Family Guy, South Park

Rick & Morty, Simpsons

Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings

Game of Thrones, Walking Dead

Friends, How I Met Your Mother

Tarantino, Fincher

Nolan, Abrams

Warcraft, Pokemon
Hentai, regular porn

 

But that's not how it works, no

That's not how it's done

Because play is so much more fun

They look down on those who partake

It's a con, it's a mistake

 

 

 

WHAT WE DO IN THE STUDIO

 

It's about an hour's drive down the M25

To the place where magic's often made

We'll have a drink and chat, and when we're quite done with that

We'll head upstairs to start the day

 

Then you sit down and turn around to ask me

"Single, EP or LP – what will today's project be, E?”

 

I could spend every day making songs

Takes two or three to do one

But only two to have fun

And that's what we do in the studio

Yeah, me and Joe work pretty well as a duo

 

Although it's pretty rare, sometimes I do come prepared

With my reference and notes

'Til lunchtime rolls around, we'll work on making some sound

Out of the nonsense that I wrote

 

Then 'round about 2 I turn to you and I say

"KFC or McD – which one will it be today, eh?”

 

CHORUS

 

What do the people want to hear?

Something silly or sincere?

Something sad or something sweet?
Something slow or upbeat?

We like to mix it up, still got some tricks up our sleeve

Yes we do, it's true 

 

CHORUS x 2

 

RITZY McCAIN

When you and me were taking tea

And the bill did arrive, t'was a nasty surprise

You see, the Ritzy man – he had a plan

And he had his ways of making us pay

So much more than we had paid before

And what for? Something you can buy in a store

And cook for yourself without any help

So you can piss off – your place is a rip-off


Ritzy McCain, he screwed us again
He slipped us a sly substitution

The scandal brought shame to his family name
And to their once grand institution

 

CHORUS

 

 

 

FOR HOURS

 

Posters up around the town

"Our baby ran away, please call if he is found”

Staring at the phone, but it doesn't make a sound

 

Heard a rumour going round

There's danger on the streets, there's trouble in the town 

Pray he's safe, that he comes home safe and sound

 

And every minute seems to drag on for hours

With uncertainty just making matters worse

When you care this much it's a blessing and a curse

 

When the brightest move away

The dumb will take their place, the mean will have their say

That's what's happening now, never thought I'd see the day

 

Should we stay or should we go?

There's so much to consider, so much we cannot know

Yet it all boils down to “Are you with us – yes or no?”

 

And every minute seems to go on on for hours

With uncertainty just making matters worse

When you care this much it's a blessing and a curse

 

Sitting for hours at a time

Wishing for a little peace of mind

A break from the noise inside

But it never ends

There's no use to pretend

There's a week that goes by without some kind of strife

 

CHORUS

 

 

 

TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT

 

They say lightning never strikes in the same place twice

But it did last night, right here

And now we're on a northbound train

Watching time slowly disappear

 

The girl on the train had a familiar name

And she regretted letting go

Of someone who was not quite me

And now everybody knows

 

The others may have turned away and claimed she didn't care

But I know she only needed someone to agree that life's not fair

 

There was a man

You had eight long years to meet him

What made you hesitate? Was it cold feet?

You had plans for the evening and for life

But neither has turned out the way you'd like

You need a change, but you don't know what or how

So tell me all about it, dear

We've got time now

 

You stayed together for the kids, like your parents did

What a life to wind up with

Staring out of the window

Knowing in your heart something's gotta give

 

You know he can't be as happy as he seems

All the pictures must be lies

He's still the same, he hasn't changed

You can tell, you see it in his eyes

 

BRIDGE

 

CHORUS

 

We've got time now

We've got time now

ANOTHER SCRAWL UPON THE WALL

 

Look at you, you've changed your stripes

I always knew you would, because I know your type

Prayers and hearts are noble, yes

But passing thoughts are all they amount to after all

They're just another scrawl upon the wall

 

"I take offence, so give me rights”
It never ends, the name and shame and blame fights

In my defence, I think I'm right

It makes no sense that privilege extends to but a few

Among them always you, and those who think like you

 

I never hear a peep from you

Then once a year you reappear out of the blue

"Wishing you well on this, your day

And now farewell, I've said all I really have to say”

It's just another scrawl upon the wall

 

 

AUGUST 9TH

 

Everybody's got birthdays this month, don't know why that is

Must be something 'bout November

Makes our parents get all excited

 

Every week another birthday party - what's your excuse?

I hate when two fall on the same day

You can't make me choose, no way

 

We may be too old for birthday cake and for clowns

But we can still have fun

So we'll celebrate the only way we know how

With women, wine and song

 

Growing old is mandatory, growing up's a choice

I pity those who outgrow playing with their toys

Be an adult when you have to, be a kid when you can

When you are older you will understand

 

It's a present, not an obligation

I don't want you to think that you have to get me one

But if you like you can buy me a drink

 

Some people like to spend it with friends, some on their own

Some people like to paint the town red

Some like to chill out at home

 

When we go out I'm still the oldest one

It gets rough with them all looking up to me

But all you twenty-somethings have your fun

Soon enough you'll join the thirties club

 

CHORUS x 3

 

 

GOLD RUSH

 

If you think the ground beneath your feet is better

You'll be glad to know that you are not the only one

And it's all that's been on everyone's mind

On the tips of all their tongues

Now I'm up late waiting for the gold rush to be done

Now I'm up late waiting for the gold rush to be done

 

Now you're here, is it really everything you dreamed of?

Is the water really greener on the other side?

'Cause it's not just sticks and stones that break bones

Mistakes can do that too

Then no-one's gonna wanna shake hands with you

No, no-one's gonna wanna shake hands with you

 

I was all geared up to have a go, but along the way I fell

Ended up forgetting everything I know so well

In a simpler time there wouldn't be all the pressure there is now

And if that's a place that can be reached, then please tell me how

 

Now it's over you would never know it ever happened

In an instant everything has gone back to how it was

But it's not a thing you quickly forget

And you'll be reminded when

We are called upon to do the gold rush once again

We are called upon to do the gold rush once again

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